Such deep beautiful eyes.
She haunts me in my sleep
This creature from the blackest deep
The blood spatters stain my bed
My soul is now in utter torment...
... my name is Franc Kaos. I mainlined into the net, an hallucinogenic matrix that is cyberspace: I spoke with some angels, security programs guarding the slipholes to the gateways, as I rode the grid - all my senses tingling from the electrical stimuli, gathering the latest news and gossips downloading automatically from the system. Riding the gravity well I was drawn into the FreeSystems database.
A lot of us CyberKids met down there; the scene, a swirling dustbowl of stars and galaxies containing within it a holographic, multilayered room and with the arrival of hard light and biochips, ones entire nervous system might be present in the computer domains representation of time and space. Actual tactile senses were simulated but on-line sex was a while off yet, virtual reality had been replaced with multi-variable realities with moods and sensations being generated by on board chips wired straight into the grey muscle. The glassy melting forms of the others were trancing out and I turned onto Music and Lights, my incorporeal body dancing in the mists of the others - real Tron2, 3D, 360 viewpoint and billions of colours. Drugs were passé here in reality+1, experience and neural chips being enough to generate the best high possible without recourse to damaging substances.
I saw the green ice form denoting Lena 's presence and we merged to chat:
Kaos, when you gonna jack over physical like?
I'll meat you
(smiles) - I look forward to it. Have you flown the wire?
There's something new in CySpace-
Virus like? Pleasure hit?
Definitely some kind of virus. In reality0 a cowboy was found dead - not the first.
Short circuited? How?
Drained of red, gashed neck.
Horror story! Real?
Only too, guy lived on my block
I broke contact as my blood froze, I didn't want Lena sensing any more of my personal space. Caleb, no, not possible, he wouldn't dare! he knew nothing about computers - uhm, perhaps I should explain.
It was a strange time, when mankind was first finding out about the seemingly infinite layers of reality that the computer chip had suddenly presented to us. The chips had grown smaller and more powerful, eventually being formed in the spaces between the atoms and opening up pathways into the multiverse, and before the corporation heads wrote and placed security angels at many of the gateways I caught my very own vampyre, me being at the forefront of the technological herd. It was kind'a like Pandora's box all over again, only this time they were trying to stuff it all back again, only keeping access to realities that were fun or profitable or both.
Anyway, I found myself tripping down this one path to horror story land and kind'a had a relationship with this cool dude, he didn't bleed me tho', but he did came back, Caleb. I found out he was a vampyre when he shot straight thru' the grid and reverse engineered his molecules to land in an untidy naked heap in my reality0 bedsit.
I jacked out.
Shimmering images of pale suns and drifting moons across an emerald sky. My name's Franc Kaos, chaotic by name and fractal in nature. The planet was dying pale jade, and across the parched earth he strode, intense vibes, long black mane half falling across his lean hungry face; green searing eyes. Caleb? that's a strange name. thirsty? A pale face, teeth swinging in an arc, incisor sharp scraping sensual skin as blood pulsed and heart beat. Pain had become pleasure and the vampyre became the dream.
They walked together, upon that dry lurid planet, clouds of history puffing up as their feet landed on the decrepit soil; entering a dead city of crumbling spires and ruined buildings whilst history sang its song in eerie silence and Caleb spoke gently, hypnotic, telling of a lost world of wonders - space faring creatures, a thriving empire spanning the galaxy, killed, not by his hand, but their own stupidity and lust.
They kissed softly and then with more urgent hunger in the eternal quiet, enamel scraping delicate tongue, chinking against teeth, sliding over saliva, the stillness of the place receiving and amplifying their moans as they fell softly into the ashes, two boys locked into a spiraling passion, breathing new life where none had been, and in the heat of ecstasy Kaos looked into the purple streaked sky to see globes of pure fire descending and exploding all around, coming from the moons held in hungry red amber. In the aftermath distant sounds reached them, a planet pulsating with life and Caleb had turned to him then, eyes like searchlights, flecks of green and grey probing:
I wish to see more of your world Francis
nodding in silent agreement they flew upwards and out of the shimmering reality+? traversing realms of the hyper matrix back, back to reality0, homebase...
"Hey, cyberjerk, out of the clouds already?"
I stared darkly at Caleb, His lean, handsome face held a barely hidden smile, like he knew what was coming, "You've been in the system?" Half question, half statement.
He grinned wryly, "Now Franc, you know I've no idea how to get back in-"
"Bullshit man, people are dying in there, their bodies drained at their terminals, not even spots of red on the key pads."
"Well, whoever it is, they're neat at least. I can appreciate that. You don't know it was me in there, it's supposition at best."
"Oh for the love of sweet Christ-"
"O Jesus, Mary loving fucking mother of God! Okay, be cool, but the derelicts left on the streets are mostly sick and already dying with blood disorders and drugs and crap knows what else. I was having a hard time assimilating any red cells. In the system you're all clean..."
"Oh jeez, so it was you. I didn't want to believe it-"
He shrugged nonchalantly, "Why ask?"
"We - you made a promise."
"Morality's for mortals."
"Well...look, I'm sorry man, but I gotta live too. Listen Francis, let me-"
"Bleed you. Yes! Let me show you the wonders, the ecstasy, the purity-"
"Caleb: No! I'm going out. I need to think."
"You won't regret it, we'll move through the universes and realities and be kings." For a second he looked forlorn. "Just consider it Franc."
In reality0 I walked, somewhat unaccustomed to the coldness of the air and the movement of my legs. In my head was his seductive voice and it merged with my old dreams… his teeth scraping my bare skin; there really is nothing as erotic as having your flesh pierced, especially by canines, I almost lost my nipple to Caleb once; it healed up ok, but the memory still gives me a hard-on at three in the morning. I realised with a start that I was walking with no destination in mind, no FreeSystem out here, and set off towards Lana. She had a sensible head and was good with the old advice, and a bit of non painful easygoing sex would be good for me.
When I got to her place, a dingy bedsit some blocks from my own, I keyed her ident number into the key pad, let myself in to find her on-line. I made myself a coffee, settled back with a punk mag and relaxed into the solitude. When someone is on-line then their body becomes like a piece of meat, there really is no one home, she would return soon enough.
I have this real heavy morality problem that Caleb jeers me up with, I'm not religious, far from it, but murder sends me cold, yet it's what Caleb does to live. Don't get me wrong, I'm non-judgmental, what Caleb does is cool by me (sort of) but it's not for me: But, and it's the but that throws me, the desires are strong in me, the desires and the lust, but what if I said yes, then found I couldn't kill, what then?
Slow movements brought me back to reality (one of them anyway) and I watched as Lana gradually came back to earth. There is a transitional time between coming off-line and entering normal (0,0) space, the mind seems to fugue out, and you can never recall precisely what happened, some people have actually burned out coming out of CySpace, so I remained respectfully quiet and watched her disorientated senses gather painfully together. She looked up, beautiful soft brown eyes, I'd almost forgotten how good she looked in the flesh, and smiled.
"Hello Kaos." Her voice was a little hoarse and I smiled in encouragement. "You jacked out suddenly, left your dinner in the oven or something?"
I stood and went over to her, pulling her away from the terminal, "Hey Lana I need physical, I can talk in the net anytime." She snuggled into me and our lips met, I was half expecting to feel sharp teeth raking into my tongue, but it was just sweetness and light, and I found myself half missing it. I whispered into her ear:
"Bite me Lana, on the neck." and I felt her mouth smile.
Pulling away she spoke hoarsely, "Your wish..."
Oh sweet agony wash over me...
We lay in silence, me on my back, drenched in sweat, her on her side regarding me, playing with the marks on my neck. It felt suddenly good to be away from my friend the vampyre, no matter how much I might love him, and I communicated as such to Lana with pressure from my fingers, she responded by cuddling closer and I closed my eyes, floating, almost like CySpace.
"It was weird coming off-line today, felt like I was being followed, down the wire you know."
I went cold and sat up suddenly, staring at the monitor, watching its continuous psychedelic display flickering across the screen. Was he there, just on the other side of the glass? watching, waiting. I thought with all my will, telling him not to dare touch her, that if he did then I would escape his clutches forever by suicide - that always worked. I turned to Lana suddenly, dislodging her arms in the process:
"We, I need to talk."
"So talk lover boy."
"Not here Lana, let's go for a walk."
"What? outside?" Her astonishment wasn't really surprising.
"...and that's a tree, and that's grass..."
"Alright Kaos, don't take the piss, we're out now, what did you want to talk about?"
The scenery rolled past and I attempted to sort out my jumbled thoughts and emotions, wondering where and how to start. We walked arm in arm and surprisingly it felt good. As there were few people who really went out, we might have been the only two in the world and the wind rustling through the trees and bushes sounded almost musical. Lana even had a half smile on her face, watching a bird flying through the azure blue sky.
I began, "Did you ever get out of the net? Before the angels were placed there that is."
She looked at me in surprise, "No, I came on-line after they were introduced into the system, I've visited a few of the open realities tho'."
"Well I did."
"And you know the guy drained of red?"
"Yeah, glitch in the system I reckon."
"How about vamp in the system?"
She stopped walking and turned to look at me, eyes narrowing. I felt uncomfortable, she said, "In these closed realities..."
"Live all our monsters, desires, and fears, from the id outwards. Not all of them of course, some just contain systems that the powers that be don't agree with, there are paradises there too, glacier worlds and phantasmagoric creatures. I've seen a unicorn."
"But these vampyres... not Caleb?"
I looked wonderingly at her, "How?"
She laughed, "Oh Franc, you were never the possessive or jealous type, but you've kept him so well hidden, he never comes on-line. I figured him to be a technophobe but a good fuck or some such, so you just kept him around. Wow! How come you aren't a vamp then? As I remember my legends-"
"It's not like that Lana, and he was supposed to stay out of the system, just take vagrants and deadbeats."
"Not like what?"
I sighed, this wasn't what I figured, she was interested and curious, not disgusted, "Well, he wants to bleed me, but-"
"For fucks sake Kaos, why haven't you? God I would! think of it Franc."
"I have Lana, I'm not a killer, and nor are you."
"Who's talking about killing?"
"You have to, to survive."
"Are you telling me Franc that you've turned into a fucking vegetarian?"
"What? No! But jeez, it's not the same…"
"It's precisely the same. There are two schools of thought about eating meat, one is that the animals are lower than us and are supposed to be our food, and the other is that they're our equals, but we eat them anyway. Same with the vampyres, you're no longer human and those values of murder no longer apply. If you're a vege-head then yeah, don't be a vampyre, but if'n you eat meat, you have no excuse. Seriously Franc, if you get bled, you'll come for me, won't you? This world's going to hell in a handbasket and I don't wanna still be around when the shit hits."
She looked at me so seriously that I nodded numbly, sensing the truth of what she said. I had eaten chicken only two days previous (thoroughly enjoyed it too) and hadn't considered for a milli-second that I was involved with murder. I certainly felt no guilt about the act. I grinned at her, feeling a sudden rush of - well, adrenaline pumping blood thru' my system, my soft machine. I knew Caleb was senseeing me and I projected a loving smile in his general direction, and hugged Lana.
"Can we go indoors now loverboy?" She implored and I nodded, intense happiness coursing thru' my veins. We turned to retrace our steps, and suddenly I couldn't wait to get back to my bedsit. I had visions of living within CySpace, with Caleb and Lana, the places I could explore again. I laughed out loud and Lana turned to me grinning:
"What's with you?"
"Oh nothing, really. I was just thinking, once you've opened Pandora's box, you can never really close it again. It's out there for the universe to perceive."
Laying upon the bed, naked apart from a pair of shorts, Caleb leaning over me, the light of love (or lust) in his eyes, I was already beginning to hallucinate, visions of his world, of past lovers' mine and his, only his spanned centuries, worlds, of my soul journeying through time to this instant, this next step on the DNA spiral, the evolutionary ladder of corpuscles on their never and always ending journey. I saw suns blaze up and die, civilizations rise and fall, I thought in geological time now geometrical progression now tearing flesh, now razor sharp teeth tearing, tearing red images scattering sky clouds of pain pleasure his arms enfolding and caressing through the agony sweet me love
the heat burning
red sweat sweet jesus the fever burning inside out cooled by green caring eyes heat cool
pleasure is pain
is love is caleb franc kaos lana tanya ian sarah darren gary janet Sleep my beautiful red diminishing, slowly fading to loving green cool black unconsc
I awoke slowly, shifting my body to get more comfortable, snuggling closer to Caleb. The events of the previous evening surfaced almost casually and I regained consciousness with a snap. I felt no appreciable difference, I was still substantially me and wondered if it had all been a dream, then felt Caleb smiling in my mind, no dream then:
Love is eternal
and I smiled at Caleb's thought. Closing my eyes I experimented with my new found powers:
When must I feed?
Caleb sat up, yawning hugely, his chest heaving with laughter, "Don't worry about that, you've been under a slight misapprehension about it all, we don't need to feed that often, though obviously I want to de-virginise you as soon as possible. Let you get the taste for it."
Is it awful, do they struggle?
First you love them like they've never been loved before and then they're pleased for the release because they know they'll never experience anything like it again. You become their most desirable dream and they'll love you unto deaths sweet embrace.
I looked at Caleb, "When do we go on-line?"
"What's your rush, now we can both explore the planet-"
Caleb smiled, "You'll see it with new eyes, I promise."
I felt good, no, I felt wonderfully alive, all my senses preternaturally sharp and defined. I doubt an athlete could've felt better, I noticed Caleb smiling and jumped all over him, I wanted, needed to do something, what, I had no idea, jump to the moon, swim an ocean, wrestle with Caleb. I found I was now comparable to his immense strength and we rolled around the room in naked abandon, banging into walls, sending up flakes of plaster, laughing and screaming (fuck the neighbours). I bit carelessly down on his inner thigh and blood welled up; at this point I knew I would have no trouble feeding and he stroked my hair as the golden red liquid shimmered down my parched throat. This was intoxicating and I cursed myself for waiting so long, he'd sat me out for nigh on three solar years, would've let me go to the grave if that was what I had desired – all he ever wanted was a willing companion - and I loved him even more for it. The bloodletting turned into a blow-job and I realised just how thermoplastic I'd become, I literally blew apart with my consciousness controlling the idea and the form. Caleb did likewise and we merged, our molecules and thoughts intermingling and meshing so perfectly that the CySpace version was an embarrassing pale imitation of it. This was physical and mental in one shebang, every particle a sensual aware part of the whole.
In my minds eye I pictured a golden eagle and flapped experimentally, I hit the ceiling and fell to the floor in shock. On landing I found I'd materialised back into my old form, Franc Kaos and I looked questioningly at Caleb who'd become a golden being of light, he smiled and projected:
Just as this plane is reality0 for you so is your body the most remembered mould for your spirit. Call it Franc-Kaos-0.
I love you!
I have always loved you.
Well, you know how love is...
Soaring beneath the clouds, sweet Earth is sleeping in fragrant harmony, the dreaming slumbers of innocents beneath soft eiderdowns and quilts, bodies, soft machines, in cocoons; efficiently ticking away, replacing damaged cells, repairing damaged tissue. I glide effortlessly along, the golden eagle of legend across this great highway of life, and swoop downwards, rising in a warm updraft. Now I live on the edge of your midnight fears, the great werewolf in the middle centuries, scary monsters of the abyss.
We are the monsters of yore, the monsters of tomorrow, given strength by your ignorance and refusal to turn and face us, as evidenced by the angels guarding the main byways into the nether regions and beyond – (I've been rewriting their programming to allow a few more adventurous souls out by the by).
Caleb and I are leaving now, we're going on-line finally, and hell, it's a big multiverse, many realities and verses; we'll probably never meat . I leave this missive to warn all of you living within the confines of the computer matrix, watch out for Lena , she turned into a real she wolf bitch vampyre, and likes nothing more than terrifying the babes in the wood...
"That is not dead which can eternal lie
And with strange aeons even death may die." HP Lovecraft
Copyright © 2006 Tony F Paulazzo All Rights Reserved